Two posts in one.
Just thinking about old friends.
One in particular, a blue eyed girl, has me particularly upset. One day she decides not to be friends anymore and won’t tell me why. She promised me she would tell me why. I try to reach out to her, to keep things open, I says to her “Hey, if you ever just wanna hang out let me know, I miss hanging out with you,” and she says “I don’t.”
I mean I get the whole moving on thing but those are some pretty harsh words. I know I’m a horrible person but when I pour everything out that I’ve been holding pent up inside me for so long, I deserve more than “Quit being such a bitch.” I’ve told you I have no one to talk to. I just need a soldier to lean on. Right now I’m using herb as my crutch. It’s not the smartest thing, but it helps me get by, and best of all it allows me to be social. Who knows, right now maybe smoke sessions with my dealer and his friends is what’s been keeping me going recently.
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A Lovely Touch
Right now I’m craving one of the most basic of human needs. Not hunger, not thirst, not even sexual desire. Well, I don’t know, that last thing might have something to do with it. I just want to be touched. I don’t mean like lol git my dick wet touched, I mean hands and fingers running down eachother’s napes, necks, hips… To be held. To be caressed. That’s what I crave right now. Some girls can give that feeling to me in a look. That’s how I’ve gotten by all these years. But now… now there’s no one. Now I don’t know what to do.
